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For future parents, choosing a name for their baby is probably one of the most fun tasks, but it can also be one of the most stressful.  After all, you are choosing the name that another human being is going to carry with them for their entire life.  Of course, an adult can always change their legal name if they absolutely hate the one they are given, but as parents you’d rather pick out a good name from the beginning. 

What makes picking out a name so challenging? First of all, there are so many different names to choose from.  Especially now, when unusual and non-traditional names are becoming commonplace, which makes for endless possibilities.  Second, you want a name to accomplish several things: be at least somewhat unique (you don’t want your child to be one of five kids in their class with the same name), be pretty (for girls) or masculine (for boys) so that they don’t get picked on in grade school, go well with their last name, and perhaps have some special meaning.  The third (and often biggest) challenge is the fact that people simply have different tastes and tend to have strong opinions about names that they like or dislike.  While naming a child is ultimately the parents’ prerogative, everyone under the sun (especially relatives) wants to weigh in with their suggestions.

So, where do you begin?  Having recently gone through the process of choosing a name for our little girl, here are some ideas that we’ve found helpful:

1. Start with a broad list of names.  While you and your partner may already have your favorite names, it’s still good to be open to other possibilities.  Starting with a broader list may give you ideas for names that you haven’t considered.  Where to find such a list?  You can turn to one of the many baby name books on the market, or use online resources, such as babynames.com or babynamesworld.com.  Many of these resources allow you to look up names by specific categories, such as country of origin, meaning, religion, or literary source.  In our case, we wanted to name our child according to the Russian Orthodox tradition that requires the name to be that of a saint, which was helpful in narrowing down the search.

2. Narrow it down.  Let each partner go down the list and write down all the names that he or she would consider.  These don’t have to be the names that they absolutely love but rather the names that they could live with.  Then, compare your lists and see if you have any names in common.  Then, write those names down.  This will be your new list to work from.  Chances are, it will be much shorter than either of your individual lists.  We ended up with 8 names for girls and 4 names for boys (we didn’t know at that time whom we were having).  What happens if your partner didn’t choose the one name that you absolutely loved?  Well, tell them about it and the reasons why you love it, and ask if they would reconsider.  Our rule was that each of us had the veto power - so if one of us absolutely didn’t like the name, it would be taken out of consideration.

3. Research.  Now that you have a short list of names, you can do further research about them.  Go to the resources mentioned above and look up meanings of the names - perhaps one would strike you as particularly special after you learn what it means.  Research your family history - is there someone with the same name that you would want to name the baby after (or not!).  Read what other people think about the name (pregnancyandbaby.com features baby name reviews, which I found helpful).  If you are so inclined, talk to other people you trust and ask for their opinions - but be careful, because the more people you involve in the process, the more diverse opinions you are going to get.  We decided to keep our families out of the decision process because we wanted to name our baby something that had a special meaning for both of us, and we didn’t want to be influenced by everyone else’s opinions.

At this point, you should be able to narrow down the list significantly, perhaps to just a couple of names.  Then, it really becomes a matter of your gut feeling as to which name speaks to you more.  The good thing is, you still have a few months to make that final decision.  (In fact, you have a couple of days after the baby is born before you need to put their name on the birth certificate.)  Some people choose to announce the name as soon as they know, while others wait until the baby is finally born, so that they can see the little one before making that final decision.  Make it whatever works for you.  Don’t forget that it is ultimately your and your partner’s decision, and it should be a joyous process, not a stressful one!